Re-posted from firstname.lastname@example.org
THROUGH THE LIGHT
Mellen-Thomas Benedict is an artist who survived a near-death experience in
1982. He was dead for over an hour and a half and during that time, he rose
up out of his body and went into the Light. Curious about the universe, he
was taken far into the remote depths of existence, and even beyond, into
the energetic Void of Nothingness behind the Big Bang. Concerning his
near-death experience, Dr. Kenneth Ring has said, "His story is one of the
most remarkable I have encountered in my extensive research on near-death
This material is also available at
THE ROAD TO DEATH
In 1982 I died from terminal cancer. The condition I had was inoperable,
and any kind of chemotherapy they could give me would just have made me
more of a vegetable. I was given six to eight months to live. I had been an
information freak in the 1970's, and I had become increasingly despondent
over the nuclear crisis, the ecology crisis, and so forth.
So, since I did not have a spiritual basis, I began to believe that nature
had made a mistake, and that we were probably a cancerous organism on the
planet. I saw no way that we could get out from all the problems we had
created for ourselves and the planet. I perceived all humans as cancer, and
that is what I got. That is what killed me. Be careful what your world view
is. It can feed back on you, especially if it is a negative world view. I
had a seriously negative one. That is what led me into my death. I tried
all sorts of alternative healing methods, but nothing helped.
So I determined that this was really just between me and God. I had never
really faced God before, or even dealt with God. I was not into any kind of
spirituality at the time, but I began a journey into learning about
spirituality and alternative healing. I set out to do all the reading I
could and bone up on the subject, because I did not want to be surprised on
the other side. So I started reading on various religions and philosophies.
They were all very interesting, and gave hope that there was something on
the other side.
On the other hand, as a self-employed stained-glass artist at the time, I
had no medical insurance whatsoever. So my life savings went overnight in
testing. Then I was facing the medical profession without any kind of
insurance. I did not want to have my family dragged down financially, so I
determined to handle this myself. There was not constant pain, but there
were black-outs. I got so that I would not dare to drive, and eventually I
ended up in hospice care.
I had my own personal hospice caretaker. I was very blessed by this angel
who went through the last part of this with me. I lasted about eighteen
months. I did not want to take a lot of drugs, since I wanted to be as
conscious as possible. Then I experienced such pain that I had nothing but
pain in my consciousness, luckily only for a few days at a time.
THE LIGHT OF GOD
I remember waking up one morning at home about 4:30 am, and I just knew
that this was it. This was the day I was going to die. So I called a few
friends and said goodbye. I woke up my hospice caretaker and told her. I
had a private agreement with her that she would leave my dead body alone
for six hours, since I had read that all kinds of interesting things happen
when you die. I went back to sleep.
The next thing I remember is the beginning of a typical near-death
experience. Suddenly I was fully aware and I was standing up, but my body
was in the bed. There was this darkness around me. Being out of my body was
even more vivid than ordinary experience. It was so vivid that I could see
every room in the house, I could see the top of the house, I could see
around the house, I could see under the house.
There was this Light shining. I turned toward the Light. The Light was very
similar to what many other people have described in their near-death
experiences. It was so magnificent. It is tangible; you can feel it. It is
alluring; you want to go to it like you would want to go to your ideal
mother's or father's arms. As I began to move toward the Light, I knew
intuitively that if I went to the Light, I would be dead. So as I was
moving toward the Light I said, "Please wait a minute, just hold on a
second here. I want to think about this; I would like to talk to you before
To my surprise, the entire experience halted at that point. You are indeed
in control of your near-death experience. You are not on a roller coaster
ride. So my request was honored and I had some conversations with the
Light. The Light kept changing into different figures, like Jesus, Buddha,
Krishna, mandalas, archetypal images and signs. I asked the Light, "What is
going on here? Please, Light, clarify yourself for me. I really want to
know the reality of the situation." I cannot really say the exact words,
because it was sort of telepathy.
The Light responded. The information transferred to me was that your
beliefs shape the kind of feedback you are getting before the Light. If you
were a Buddhist or Catholic or Fundamentalist, you get a feedback loop of
your own stuff. You have a chance to look at it and examine it, but most
people do not. As the Light revealed itself to me, I became aware that what
I was really seeing was our Higher Self matrix.
The only thing I can tell you is that it turned into a matrix, a mandala of
human souls, and what I saw was that what we call our Higher Self in each
of us is a matrix. It's also a conduit to the Source; each one of us comes
directly, as a direct experience from the Source. We all have a Higher
Self, or an oversoul part of our being. It revealed itself to me in its
truest energy form. The only way I can really describe it is that the being
of the Higher Self is more like a conduit. It did not look like that, but
it is a direct connection to the Source that each and every one of us has.
We are directly connected to the Source.
So the Light was showing me the Higher Self matrix. And it became very
clear to me that all the Higher Selves are connected as one being, all
humans are connected as one being, we are actually the same being,
different aspects of the same being. It was not committed to one particular
religion. So that is what was being fed back to me. And I saw this mandala
of human souls. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I just
went into it and, it was just over- whelming. It was like all the love
you've every wanted, and it was the kind of love that cures, heals,
As I asked the Light to keep explaining, I understood what the Higher Self
matrix is. We have a grid around the planet where all the Higher Selves are
connected. This is like a great company, a next subtle level of energy
around us, the spirit level, you might say. Then, after a couple of
minutes, I asked for more clarification. I really wanted to know what the
universe is about, and I was ready to go at that time. I said "I am ready,
take me." Then the Light turned into the most beautiful thing that I have
ever seen: a mandala of human souls on this planet.
Now I came to this with my negative view of what has happen on the planet.
So as I asked the light to keep clarifying for me, I saw in this
magnificent mandala how beautiful we all are in our essence, our core. We
are the most beautiful creations. The human soul, the human matrix that we
all make together is absolutely fantastic, elegant, exotic, everything. I
just cannot say enough about how it changed my opinion of human beings in
I said, "Oh, God, I did not know how beautiful we are." At any level, high
or low, in whatever shape you are in, you are the most beautiful creation,
you are. I was astonished to find that there was no evil in any soul. I
said "How can this be?" The answer was that no soul was inherently evil.
The terrible things that happened to people might make them do evil things,
but their souls were not evil. What all people seek, what sustains them, is
love, the Light told me. What distorts people is a lack of love.
The revelations coming from the Light seemed to go on and on, then I asked
the Light, "Does this mean that humankind will be saved?" Then, like a
trumpet blast with a shower of spiraling lights, the Great Light spoke,
saying, "Remember this and never forget; you save, redeem and heal
yourself. You always have. You always will. You were created with the power
to do so from before the beginning of the world."
In that instant I realized even more. I realized that WE HAVE ALREADY BEEN
SAVED, and we saved ourselves because we were designed to self-correct like
the rest of God's universe. This is what the second coming is about. I
thanked the Light of God with all my heart. The best thing I could come up
with was these simple words of totally appreciation: "Oh dear God, dear
Universe, dear Great Self, I love my Life."
The Light seemed to breathe me in even more deeply. It was as if the Light
was completely absorbing me. The Love Light is, to this day, indescribable.
I entered into another realm, more profound than the last, and became aware
of something more, much more. It was an enormous stream of Light, vast and
full, deep in the Heart of Life. I asked what this was.
The Light responded, "This is the RIVER OF LIFE. Drink of this manna water
to your heart's content." So I did. I took one big drink and then another.
To drink of Life Itself! I was in ecstasy.
Then the Light said, "You have a desire." The Light knew all about me,
everything past, present and future.
"Yes!" I whispered.
I asked to see the rest of the Universe; beyond our solar system, beyond
all human illusion. The Light then told me that I could go with the Stream.
I did, and was carried through the Light at the end of the tunnel. I felt
and heard a series of very soft sonic booms. What a rush!
THE VOID OF NOTHINGNESS
Suddenly I seemed to be rocketing away from the planet on this stream of
Life. I saw the earth fly away. The solar system, in all its splendor,
whizzed by and disappeared. At faster than light speed, I flew through the
center of the galaxy, absorbing more knowledge as I went. I learned that
this galaxy, and all of the Universe, is bursting with many different
varieties of LIFE. I saw many worlds. The good news is that we are not
alone in this Universe!
As I rode this stream of consciousness through the center of the galaxy,
the stream was expanding in awesome fractal waves of energy. The super
clusters of galaxies with all their ancient wisdom flew by. At first I
thought I was going somewhere; actually traveling. But then I realized
that, as the stream was expanding, my own consciousness was also expanding
to take in everything in the Universe! All creation passed by me. It was an
unimaginable wonder! I truly was a Wonder Child; a babe in Wonderland!
It seemed as if all the creations in the Universe soared by me and vanished
in a speck of Light. Almost immediately, a second Light appeared. It came
from all sides, and was so different; a Light made up of more than every
frequency in the Universe. I felt and heard several velvety sonic booms
again. My consciousness, or being, was expanding to interface with the
entire Holographic Universe and more.
As I passed into the second Light, the awareness came to me that I had just
transcended the Truth. Those are the best words I have for it, but I will
try to explain. As I passed into the second Light, I expanded beyond the
First Light. I found myself in a profound stillness, beyond all silence. I
could see or perceive FOREVER, beyond Infinity.
I was in the Void.
I was in pre-creation, before the Big Bang. I had crossed over the
beginning of time - the First Word - the First vibration. I was in the Eye
of Creation. I felt as if I was touching the Face of God. It was not a
religious feeling. Simply I was at one with Absolute Life and
When I say that I could see or perceive forever, I mean that I could
experience all of creation generating itself. It was without beginning and
without end. That's a mind-expanding thought, isn't it? Scientists perceive
the Big Bang as a single event which created the Universe. I saw that the
Big Bang is only one of an infinite number of Big Bangs creating Universes
endlessly and simultaneously. The only images that even come close in human
terms would be those created by supercomputers using fractal geometry
The ancients knew of this. They said Godhead periodically created new
Universes by breathing out, and de-creating other Universes by breathing
in. These epochs were called Yugas. Modern science called this the Big
Bang. I was in absolute, pure consciousness. I could see or perceive all
the Big Bangs or Yugas creating and de-creating themselves. Instantly I
entered into them all simultaneously. I saw that each and every little
piece of creation has the power to create. It is very difficult to try to
explain this. I am still speechless about this.
It took me years after I returned to assimilate any words at all for the
Void experience. I can tell you this now; the Void is less than nothing,
yet more than everything that is! The Void is absolute zero; chaos forming
all possibilities. It is Absolute Consciousness; much more than even
Where is the Void? I know. The Void is inside and outside everything. You,
right now even while you live, are always inside and outside the Void
simultaneously. You don't have to go anywhere or die to get there. The Void
is the vacuum or nothingness between all physical manifestations. The SPACE
between atoms and their components.
Modern science has begun to study this space between everything. They call
it Zero-point. Whenever they try to measure it, their instruments go off
the scale, or to infinity, so to speak. They have no way, as of yet, to
measure infinity accurately. There is more of the zero space in your own
body and the Universe than anything else!
What mystics call the Void is not a void. It is so full of energy, a
different kind of energy that has created everything that we are.
Everything since the Big Bang is vibration, from the first Word, which is
the first vibration. The biblical "I am" really has a question mark after
it. "I am - What am I?"
So creation is God exploring God's Self through every way imaginable, in an
ongoing, infinite exploration through every one of us. Through every piece
of hair on your head, through every leaf on every tree, through every atom,
God is exploring God's Self, the great "I am". I began to see that
everything that is, is the Self, literally, your Self, my Self. Everything
is the great Self. That is why God knows even when a leaf falls. That is
possible because wherever you are is the center of the universe. Wherever
any atom is, that is the center of the universe. There is God in that, and
God in the Void.
As I was exploring the Void and all the Yugas or creations, I was
completely out of time and space as we know it. In this expanded state, I
discovered that creation is about Absolute Pure Consciousness, or God,
coming into the Experience of Life as we know it. The Void itself is devoid
of experience. It is pre-life, before the first vibration. Godhead is about
more than Life and Death. Therefore there is even more than Life and Death
to experience in the Universe!
I was in the Void and I was aware of everything that had ever been created.
It was like I was looking out of God's eyes. I had become God. Suddenly I
wasn't me anymore. The only thing I can say, I was looking out of God's
eyes. And suddenly I knew why every atom was, and I could see everything.
The interesting point was that I went into the Void, I came back with this
understanding that God is not there. God is here. That's what it is all
So this constant search of the human race to go out and find God ... God
gave everything to us, everything is here - this is where it's at. And what
we are into now is God's exploration of God through us. People are so busy
trying to become God that they ought to realize that we are already God and
God is becoming us. That's what it is really about.
When I realized this, I was finished with the Void, and wanted to return to
this creation, or Yuga. It just seemed like the natural thing to do. Then I
suddenly came back through the second Light, or the Big Bang, hearing
several more velvet booms. I rode the stream of consciousness back through
all of creation, and what a ride it was! The super clusters of galaxies
came through me with even more insights.
I passed through the center of our galaxy, which is a black hole. Black
holes are the great processors or recyclers of the Universe. Do you know
what is on the other side of a Black Hole? We are; our galaxy; which has
been reprocessed from another Universe. In its total energy configuration,
the galaxy looked like a fantastic city of lights. All energy this side of
the Big Bang is light. Every sub-atom, atom, star, planet, even
consciousness itself is made of light and has a frequency and/or particle.
Light is living stuff. Everything is made of light, even stones. So
everything is alive. Everything is made from the Light of God; everything
is very intelligent.
THE LIGHT OF LOVE
As I rode the stream on and on, I could eventually see a huge Light coming.
I knew it was the First Light; the Higher Self Light Matrix of our solar
system. Then the entire solar system appeared in the Light, accompanied by
one of those velvet booms.
I saw that the solar system we live in is our larger, local body. This is
our local body and we are much bigger than we imagine. I saw that the solar
system is our body. I am a part of this, and the earth is this great
created being that we are, and we are the part of it that knows that it is.
But we are only that part of it. We are not everything, but we are that
part of it that knows that it is.
I could see all the energy that this solar system generates, and it is an
incredible light show! I could hear the Music of the Spheres. Our solar
system, as do all celestial bodies, generates a unique matrix of light,
sound and vibratory energies. Advanced civilizations from other star
systems can spot life as we know it in the universe by the vibratory or
energy matrix imprint. It is child's play. The earth's Wonder Child (human
beings) make an abundance of sound right now, like children playing in the
backyard of the universe.
I rode the stream directly into the center of the Light. I felt embraced by
the Light as it took me in with its breath again, followed by another soft
I was in this great Light of Love with the stream of life flowing through
me. I have to say again, it is the most loving, non-judgmental Light. It is
the ideal parent for this Wonder Child.
"What now?" I wondered.
The Light explained to me that there is no death; we are immortal beings.
We have already been alive forever! I realized that we are part of a
natural living system that recycles itself endlessly. I was never told that
I had to come back. I just knew that I would. It was only natural, from
what I had seen.
I don't know how long I was with the Light, in human time. But there came a
moment when I realized that all my questions had been answered and my
return was near. When I say that all my questions were answered on the
other side, I mean to say just that. All my questions have been answered.
Every human has a different life and set of questions to explore. Some of
our questions are Universal, but each of us is exploring this thing we call
Life in our own unique way. So is every other form of life, from mountains
to every leaf on every tree.
And that is very important to the rest of us in this Universe. Because it
all contributes to the Big Picture, the fullness of Life. We are literally
God exploring God's Self in an infinite Dance of Life. Your uniqueness
enhances all of Life.
HIS RETURN TO EARTH
As I began my return to the life cycle, it never crossed my mind, nor was I
told, that I would return to the same body. It just did not matter. I had
complete trust in the Light and the Life process. As the stream merged with
the great Light, I asked never to forget the revelations and the feelings
of what I had learned on the other side.
There was a "Yes". It felt like a kiss to my soul.
Then I was taken back through the Light into the vibratory realm again. The
whole process reversed, with even more information being given to me. I
came back home, and I was given lessons on the mechanics of reincarnation.
I was given answers to all those little questions I had: "How does this
work? How does that work?" I knew that I would be reincarnated. The earth
is a great processor of energy, and individual consciousness evolves out of
that into each one of us.
I thought of myself as a human for the first time, and I was happy to be
that. From what I have seen, I would be happy to be an atom in this
universe. An atom. So to be the human part of God ... this is the most
fantastic blessing. It is a blessing beyond our wildest estimation of what
blessing can be. For each and every one of us to be the human part of this
experience is awesome, and magnificent. Each and every one of us, no matter
where we are, screwed up or not, is a blessing to the planet, right where
So I went through the reincarnation process expecting to be a baby
somewhere. But I was given a lesson on how individual identity and
consciousness evolve. So I reincarnated back into this body. I was so
surprised when I opened my eyes. I do not know why, because I understood
it, but it was still such a surprise to be back in this body, back in my
room with someone looking over me crying her eyes out. It was my hospice
caretaker. She had given up an hour and a half after finding me dead. She
was sure I was dead; all the signs of death were there - I was getting
We do not know how long I was dead, but we do know that it was an hour and
a half since I was found. She honored my wish to have my newly dead body
left alone for a few hours as much as she could. We had an amplified
stethoscope and many ways of checking out the vital functions of the body
to see what was happening. She can verify that I really was dead. It was
not a near-death experience. I experienced death itself for at least an
hour and a half. She found me dead and checked the stethoscope, blood
pressure and heart rate monitor for an hour and a half. Then I awakened and
saw the light outside. I tried to get up to go to it, but I fell out of the
bed. She heard a loud "clunk", ran in and found me on the floor.
When I recovered, I was very surprised and yet very awed about what had
happened to me. At first all the memory of the trip that I have now was not
there. I kept slipping out of this world and kept asking, "Am I alive?"
This world seemed more like a dream than that one. Within three days, I was
feeling normal again, clearer, yet different than I had ever felt in my
life. My memory of the journey came back later. I could see nothing wrong
with any human being I had ever seen. Before that I was really judgmental.
I thought a lot of people were really screwed up, in fact I thought that
everybody was screwed up but me. But I got clear on all that.
About three months later a friend said I should get tested, so I went and
got the scans and so forth. I really felt good, so I was afraid of getting
bad news. I remember the doctor at the clinic looking at the before and
after scans, saying, "Well, there is nothing here now." I said, "Really, it
must be a miracle?" He said "No, these things happen, they are called
spontaneous remission." He acted very unimpressed. But here was a miracle,
and I was impressed, even if no one else was.
LESSONS HE LEARNED
The mystery of life has very little to do with intelligence. The universe
is not an intellectual process at all. The intellect is helpful; it is
brilliant, but right now that is all we process with, instead of our hearts
and the wiser part of ourselves.
The center of the earth is this great transmuter of energy, just as you see
in pictures of our earth's magnetic field. That's our cycle, pulling
reincarnated souls back in and through it again. A sign that you are
reaching human level is that you are beginning to evolve an individual
The animals have a group soul, and they reincarnate in group souls. A deer
is pretty much going to be a deer forever. But just being born a human,
whether deformed or genius, shows that you are on the path to developing an
individual consciousness. That is in itself part of the group consciousness
I saw that races are personality clusters. Nations like France, Germany and
China each have their own personality. Cities have personalities, their
local group souls that attract certain people. Families have group souls.
Individual identity is evolving like branches of a fractal; the group soul
explores in our individuality. The different questions that each of us has
are very, very important. This is how Godhead is exploring God's Self -
through you. So ask your questions, do your searching. You will find your
Self and you will find God in that Self, because it is only the Self.
More than that, I began to see that each one of us humans are soul mates.
We are part of the same soul fractaling out in many creative directions,
but still the same. Now I look at every human being that I ever see, and I
see a soul mate, my soul mate, the one I have always been looking for.
Beyond that, the greatest soul mate that you will ever have is yourself.
We are each both male and female. We experience this in the womb and we
experience this in reincarnation states. If you are looking for that
ultimate soul mate outside of yourself, you may never find it; it is not
there. Just as God is not "there". God is here. Don't look "out there" for
God. Look here for God. Look through your Self. Start having the greatest
love affair you ever had ... with your Self. You will love everything out
I had a descent into what you might call Hell, and it was very surprising.
I did not see Satan or evil. My descent into Hell was a descent into each
person's customized human misery, ignorance, and darkness of not-knowing.
It seemed like a miserable eternity. But each of the millions of souls
around me had a little star of light always available. But no one seemed to
pay attention to it. They were so consumed with their own grief, trauma and
misery. But, after what seemed an eternity, I started calling out to that
Light, like a child calling to a parent for help.
Then the Light opened up and formed a tunnel that came right to me and
insulated me from all that fear and pain. That is what Hell really is. So
what we are doing is learning to hold hands, to come together. The doors of
Hell are open now. We are going to link up, hold hands, and walk out of
Hell together. The Light came to me and turned into a huge golden angel. I
said, "Are you the angel of death?" It expressed to me that it was my
oversoul, my Higher Self matrix, a super-ancient part of ourselves. Then I
was taken to the Light.
Since my return I have experienced the Light spontaneously, and I have
learned how to get to that space almost any time in my meditation. Each one
of you can do this. You do not have to die to do this. It is within your
equipment; you are wired for it already. The body is the most magnificent
Light being there is. The body is a universe of incredible Light. Spirit is
not pushing us to dissolve this body. That is not what is happening. Stop
trying to become God; God is becoming you. Here.
The mind is like a child running around the universe, demanding this and
thinking it created the world. But I ask the mind: "What did your mother
have to do with this?" That is the next level of spiritual awareness. Oh!
my mother! All of a sudden you give up the ego, because you are not the
only soul in the universe.
One of my questions to the Light was "What is Heaven?" I was given a tour
of all the heavens that have been created: the Nirvanas, the Happy Hunting
Grounds, all of them. I went through them. These are thought form creations
that we have created. We don't really go to heaven; we are reprocessed.
For more information, please review the material posted by the Global
Meditation Focus Group at http://www.aei.ca/~cep/focusgroup.htm